Baldness Humorist Gifts

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

The barber

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

'You're just molting! It scared me too - the first time my feathers fell out!'

"Yeah, it's a wig. I got sick of being bald."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Operation Chrome Dome.

Balding gnomes

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Bald man with a brush on his head

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

Comb over club.

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

"Well, did it work?"

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."