Baldness Humorist Gifts

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

The barber

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

'You're just molting! It scared me too - the first time my feathers fell out!'

"Yeah, it's a wig. I got sick of being bald."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

Balding gnomes

Operation Chrome Dome.

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

Bald man with a brush on his head

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

"Operator, get me my hair!"

Comb over club.

"Well, did it work?"

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

Combs for the bald.