Bald Humorist Pillows

Express chair. 12 hairs or less.

Combs for the bald.

'According to the tests, you're allergic to your toupee.'

"Well, did it work?"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

'You've got dry scalp.'

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

Operation Chrome Dome.

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

Bald man with a brush on his head

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

Hair club for men.

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Comb over club.

"Operator, get me my hair!"

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

Whale Pattern Balding,

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

"You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be a bald lion. This morning a cub mistook me for his mother."

Dad, if there was a hair fairy, you'd be rich."

Custer's Last Strand

"So, under 'Hair Color' you wrote 'Infra-Redhead!?!"

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."