Bald And Bold Humorist Pillows

'There's a hair in my soup and you can see it cannot possibly have come from me!'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Snail Pattern Balding.

The barber

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'You've got dry scalp.'

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Operation Chrome Dome.

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

Comb over club.

"Well, did it work?"

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

Combs for the bald.

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

Whale Pattern Balding,

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

Hairdressing for Bald People

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

Custer's Last Strand

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

"So, under 'Hair Color' you wrote 'Infra-Redhead!?!"