Bald Comedic Genius Pillows

Comb over club.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

'You've got dry scalp.'

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

Operation Chrome Dome.

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

"Well, did it work?"

Hair club for men.

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

Combs for the bald.

Whale Pattern Balding,

'No, I'm not bald - I'm shaved... There is a difference!'

Look, Joe got a toupee! He's living under an assumed mane!

"So, under 'Hair Color' you wrote 'Infra-Redhead!?!"

Custer's Last Strand

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

"I suppose the combover works, but now I can't see your eyes."

"Write down that my hair didn't grow back!"