Bald Comedic Genius Gifts

Comb over club.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

'You've got dry scalp.'

Operation Chrome Dome.

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

Hair club for men.

"Well, did it work?"

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

Whale Pattern Balding,

'No, I'm not bald - I'm shaved... There is a difference!'

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

Combs for the bald.

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

"So, under 'Hair Color' you wrote 'Infra-Redhead!?!"

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

Custer's Last Strand

'Your bald head is like Alaska. A great white bear place.'

"Write down that my hair didn't grow back!"

"I suppose the combover works, but now I can't see your eyes."