Balance Sheet Strugglers Gifts

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Wanna talk about it?

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

Sad businessman with sinking profits

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

'After a cursory examination, the outside auditor is demanding his money up front.'

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

Financial life preserver

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

"The Big Bad Wolf Bank has served us with foreclosures."

Finance Company.

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

I don't think we need to resort to medication to help your insomnia...An hour with my accountant should do the trick...Accountancy doesn't NEED to be DULL!

'We can't afford to be middle class anymore.'

"Wait - you're right - it is as bad as it seems."

'He celebrates the fiscal New Year.'

"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"

US Rapper 50 cent files for bankruptcy

"Have you included the loss of my reputation?"

I can't handle this mortgage.

Creative Accounting

"Can't talk right now - we're in the middle of a fiction-writing workshop."

"No kidding. Tell me about it."