Balance Sheet Aficionado Gifts

I don't think we need to resort to medication to help your insomnia...An hour with my accountant should do the trick...Accountancy doesn't NEED to be DULL!

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

Sheep Ledger

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

Disappearing Democracy

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"I'm a soul trader."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

Loans. To make a long story short, my cash flow needs some new tributaries.

We're looking at a six figure return. Unfortunately, they're all zeros.

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

"Don't worry, sir. There's plenty of time to recover if there's a fifth quarter this year."

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

Home Business - Accounting Software.

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"