Account Balancing Aficionado Gifts

'That's a record. I had the check book balanced for all of fifteen minutes.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Sheep Ledger

House of books.

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

Accountant Bedtime Stories

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Disappearing Democracy

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"I'm a soul trader."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

DIY Shelves

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

"In order to balance the budget we will need to make sacrifices, and you are mine"

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

"Under the new tax plan, do we get it in the neck more or less than under the old tax plan?"

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

Home Business - Accounting Software.

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

I don't think we need to resort to medication to help your insomnia...An hour with my accountant should do the trick...Accountancy doesn't NEED to be DULL!

Why didn't you go before we left?

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

Classic Car Auction: "I think I'm having an out-of -money experience."

I hear the ironic thing is he fails miserably whenever attempting to balance his checkbook.

"And, who is this Alice Chalmers that you've started spending money on?"

"Have you included the loss of my reputation?"

The Economic Crisis

'You owe income tax, social security tax, and of course, graduated tax.'

'Is it out of order or out of money?'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'