Budget Balancing Aficionado Gifts

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

Investing your savings

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

State Budget.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

Blowing dust off an order book.

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

The Costs Of Doing War.

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'