Budget Balancing Guru Gifts

'I love you, but our budget hates you.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

Investing your savings

State Budget.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

Blowing dust off an order book.

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

The economy and the environment.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

The Costs Of Doing War.

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'