Budgeting Enthusiast Gifts

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

"Oh, Honey - our first bankruptcy!"

Gordon Brown

'So far, so good ? I've got our budget all balanced except for food, clothing, and shelter!'

'We were just keeping up with the Joneses. How was I supposed to know the Joneses were keeping up with the Rockefellers?'

"Right now we're at a budget impasse. I maintain that you provide an essential service, and my wife feels that you do not."

'You can come out now. I promise not to use the word budget again.'

'I'm afraid at times like this with overstretched budgets we all have to make sacrifices.'

'We exchanged our disposable income for disposable diapers.'

'The test results are in. We suggest you go home and discuss the treatment options with you accountant.'

'In a cost-saving move, I've replaced your cubicle with a back pack.'

'It doesn't matter when we schedule your surgery, Mrs. Root. We don't accept coupons.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'Never saw it coming.'

The Sacrifice of Local Authorities

'She just said her first words...What an enormous budget deficit.'

'This is interesting -- We've now spent more on ATM fees than we did on our first house.'

Cut Your Bills In Half.

Bureau of Spending Decreases and Deficit Reduction - 'Wait a minute! How can that be?'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

Customer cuts cord of cash register as worker checks groceries.

'Great! Now I don't even have any walkin-around-bitchin'-about-not-having-any-money, money.'

'I can't afford a vasectomy, Doctor! I have ten kids to feed.'

'Of course I can tell you what I spent all that grocery money on. I spent it on a grocery.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

'He's decided not to have a mid life crisis-he thinks it could be too expensive.'

'Appropriation Committee'

'But it costs me at least £15,000 to live.' - 'Don't pay it, it's not worth it.'

"Government guidelines are right... exceeding 30 units a week is bad for your wealth."

'I thought it might help our budget if I rented them our backyard.'

'Every time my wife makes a move for the check book I get motion sickness.'

'Unfortunately, a penny saved is subject to Federal, State and Local taxes.'

"Remember - no seconds!"

'Our financial statement was delivered 'postage due'. Think that's a sign?'

"Why can't we have a proper stairlift?"