Balance Sheet Enthusiast Gifts

'Greetings! We're Accountants Without Borders...'

"Have you included the loss of my reputation?"

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

Sheep Ledger

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

Disappearing Democracy

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

'After a cursory examination, the outside auditor is demanding his money up front.'

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

Home Business - Accounting Software.

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

I don't think we need to resort to medication to help your insomnia...An hour with my accountant should do the trick...Accountancy doesn't NEED to be DULL!

'He celebrates the fiscal New Year.'

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"

'Hello, Smudgekins and Smollet, creative accountants, how may I help you?'

The Joy of Cheques

"Not to worry, boss. We only suffered paper losses."

'The bank wants you to stop writing checks for a few days, to give them a chance to catch up.'