Balance Sheet Enthusiast Gifts

'Greetings! We're Accountants Without Borders...'

"Have you included the loss of my reputation?"

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

Sheep Ledger

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

Disappearing Democracy

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"I'm a soul trader."

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

Loans. To make a long story short, my cash flow needs some new tributaries.

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"This isn't regular Hell. This is Tax hell, where you'll be audited for all eternity."

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

'After a cursory examination, the outside auditor is demanding his money up front.'

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

Home Business - Accounting Software.

I don't think we need to resort to medication to help your insomnia...An hour with my accountant should do the trick...Accountancy doesn't NEED to be DULL!

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

'He celebrates the fiscal New Year.'

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"

'Hello, Smudgekins and Smollet, creative accountants, how may I help you?'

The Joy of Cheques