Balance Sheet Buff Gifts

"That 'LOL' on the balance sheet stands for 'Lost Our Leverage'."

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

British savings accounts

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"I don't like the look of this."

"What comes after zillion?"

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

Offshore tax havens.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"