Balance Sheet Balancer Gifts

'After a cursory examination, the outside auditor is demanding his money up front.'

"Yes, I said creativity is good. But not with the balance sheets."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

State Budget.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

The Costs Of Doing War.

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

Run in the Family

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

The economy and the environment.

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"Yes, you do get your bonus today. My assistant is empty the change out of the vending machine as we speak."

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

NHS targets.

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb