Bond Balancer Gifts

'If stocks are up, bonds are down. If bonds are up, stocks are down. It's life's Yin and Yang.'

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

State Budget.

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

The Costs Of Doing War.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"Yes, you do get your bonus today. My assistant is empty the change out of the vending machine as we speak."

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

The economy and the environment.

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Run in the Family

NHS targets.

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

US Tightens The Iraq War Belt