Boardroom Balancer Gifts

Wade 'Gator' Ruben, Tax Attorney

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Business Admin - Group Think 101.

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

Pin the blame on the donkey.

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

Takeovers.

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'