Bakery Regular Gifts

'. . .fault that we've sold out of your favourite fruit cake!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Picking pastries.

"Rump roast?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Important Food Groups

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

I wish I'd had the review.

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"And would you like flies with that?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

A dog at the bakery.