Bakery Owner Gifts

"Mini-cupcakes never solved anything."

Chief Breadwinner.

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you, Simpkins. You're not good for business'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

STRIP "I'm sorry, we're closed. We've been forced into liquidation...some twit turned the air conditioning off"

'Hi, Mom. I volunteered you to bring cookies for snack time at school for every other day!'

"This bread is one of our best sellers. It's Spelt."

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Try to guess the continent dining...

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Picking pastries.

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Today's special... donuts.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Kitchen Kapers

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"This is our soft opening."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."