Bakery Regular Pillows

'. . .fault that we've sold out of your favourite fruit cake!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Rump roast?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Picking pastries.

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

Important Food Groups

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

I wish I'd had the review.

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

A dog at the bakery.

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'