Badge Collection Gifts

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

"You have ice water in your veins."

'What's with the cocoa tin lid?'

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

Beer Sergeant.

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

Continental marshal

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

My first Boyfriend.

Missing Sock

Minor Surgery

'How many merit badges do you have?'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

"Here comes my doctor ... I know the click and clatter of his ID badges."

'I do not spend that much time at the office.'

Boy Scouts trying to get their free fall badges

'I got this one for failing to earn a merit badge.'

A.I. apology cards to humans.

"Nice! You know dressing up isn't a requirement right?!"

"Nothing to be concerned about. We just want to show you our phony badges and then leave."

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon