Novelty Badge Collector Gifts

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Clown on bike.

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

The Hammer

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Lavatory Waterfall

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'These new metal detectors are great!'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

House sale.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

Monkey Business

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Newest items from the cooler image

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Med School Mascots.

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.