Novelty Badge Collector Pillows

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Clown on bike.

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

The Hammer

A crab with a utility knife claw

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Lavatory Waterfall

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Francine, you're a rebel!"

House sale.

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Newest items from the cooler image

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."