Badges Gifts

'And this one's for participating in the 'Anything-but-video-games-oree.'

Continental marshal

'How many merit badges do you have?'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"I think it's working on the citizenship in the universe badge!"

"Do I get a scout badge for having the most demerits?"

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

'What's with the cocoa tin lid?'

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

Beer Sergeant.

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

'Entente Cordiale: When Eric [Cantona]kisses the badge on his shirt it turns round and kisses him right back!'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"I can assure you, it's a real degree... not an honorary one!"

"Here comes my doctor ... I know the click and clatter of his ID badges."

'I do not spend that much time at the office.'

Boy Scouts trying to get their free fall badges

"Nice! You know dressing up isn't a requirement right?!"

"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"

'I got this one for failing to earn a merit badge.'

"Nothing to be concerned about. We just want to show you our phony badges and then leave."

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

Animal Overachievers

'That's my camping badge, that's my cooking, that's my orienteering and that's my nicotine patch.'

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon