Badge Collection T-Shirts

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

The Missing Sock Returns

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

'What's with the cocoa tin lid?'

"You have ice water in your veins."

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

Beer Sergeant.

Continental marshal

'Entente Cordiale: When Eric [Cantona]kisses the badge on his shirt it turns round and kisses him right back!'

Missing Sock

My first Boyfriend.

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Minor Surgery

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

My incredible dedicated pet monkey. You've waited in line for a week at Computer Villa. Computer Villa parking lot. Now I have my new Ybox game console. I am complete man. I am whole. The new Playstation comes out this fall. I am empty and wanting. Form a new line to the left!

'How many merit badges do you have?'

"Here comes my doctor ... I know the click and clatter of his ID badges."

'I do not spend that much time at the office.'

Boy Scouts trying to get their free fall badges

A.I. apology cards to humans.

"Nice! You know dressing up isn't a requirement right?!"

'I got this one for failing to earn a merit badge.'

"Nothing to be concerned about. We just want to show you our phony badges and then leave."

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon