Babysitting Enthusiast Gifts

I took your advice and got an eco-friendly baby shower present. Are you sure? � It's carbon neutral, non-polluting and chemical free? Yes! It was more popular than the solar-powered $850 stroller. Way to go, momster! What was it? I volunteered to babysit for 3 nights. I feel a toxic emission coming on.

Leaving Dad in Charge of the Baby.

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Coping with a strong-willed child

"I'm bored."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Whoa

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'