Baby Comedian Appreciator Pillows

"Funny how they often look like little old men

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"It's his emotional support animal."

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Baby on board 2020

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

Gangster Babies

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

"Which one is yours?"

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Gee, my first man cave!"

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"Baby FOMO."