Awkward Sweethearts Gifts

Darlene, would you like to have lunch with me? Darlene. Lunch. Noon. Sandwiches. Lemonade. Be there. Hi, Darlene. Say, you've got to eat. I've got to eat. We have a lot in common. Stop rehearsing and get back to work. You wouldn't want to go out with me ... would you?

"I love you, you big fool."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

The Scanner Of Love.

A man and a woman in military uniform salute each other and then embrace

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

They were young and in love, and Harold would spend whole weekends counting the freckles on Arlene's back, Of course they were also incredibly stupid,,, Arlene only had seven freckles,

Nethead strip: Dates

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

Especially for YOU! - Free Valentine hugs.

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"I was happy that my girlfriend came to me to ask how to delete a contact from her iPhone. . . until I learned it was my contact that she was deleting."

What a pear?

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

'Your x-ray shows an enlarged heart. It's nothing to worry about. All teachers have a big heart.'

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

Lovers Guide, "I can't get it in !"

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

ACME DATING SERVICE, 'Do you take trade-ins?'

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.