Awkward Romance Aficionado Gifts

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Mantis Love

In Desperate Straits.

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Storage Unit of Love

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Look Clara, I'm telling you for the last time, it's not me who's crazy. It's Eusebius.'

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

'I even love the way you snore!'

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

I can't bear to be without you.

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"I find myself strangely attracted to you."

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

'You are very deer to me.'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"...so you'll finish it off with a felt tip."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

'I love you and my hair loves you.'

Carbon Dating

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

Mouse on mouse action.

"The morning light, the perfect framing of your body in the doorway—dear husband, I'm spellbound."

"My wife couldn't make it today. What are you doing later?"

Tortoise Falls In Love With A Football.

Near-sighted goose falls in love with saxophone.