Awkward Romantic Gifts

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

"You know, Baldo, I feel comfortable around you."

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

Consenting Adults.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

"You need a mint."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"They were only supposed to find truffles, but then they found Roger - a man who curiously smells a lot like truffles."

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

Proposal on a snowboard

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"Of course we were made for each other. We were cloned in a laboratory!"

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

'I hate to rush you, but I'm getting a leg cramp.'

The Adventures of Morton

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

Tunnel of Dove.

Nethead strip: Dates

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.