Awkward Romantic Gifts

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

"You know, Baldo, I feel comfortable around you."

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Consenting Adults.

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

"You need a mint."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"They were only supposed to find truffles, but then they found Roger - a man who curiously smells a lot like truffles."

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"Of course we were made for each other. We were cloned in a laboratory!"

Proposal on a snowboard

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

'I hate to rush you, but I'm getting a leg cramp.'

Bio Lab. The experiments indicate olfactory sensing of pheromones might play a role in romantic attraction. Love is blind but it has a great sense of smell!

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

Nethead strip: Dates

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

Tunnel of Dove.

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

'This is the last time I'm going fishing with you, Harold!'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."