Awkward Flirt Gifts

"Do any of you guys need a wife?"

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

What a pear?

'No, I won't go out with you, Nigel, not 'til you man up!'

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Talk nerdy to me."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

...The origin of the word daisy is from Anglo Saxon 'Daes Eage,' literally meaning 'days eye' because daisies open at dawn.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

Nethead strip: Dates

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'Sweet, Caroline?'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

"I guess you could say we're into each other."