Awkward Situation Sympathizers Pillows

"Anyway, it was nice talking and talking while you stood there in agony waiting for the opportunity to say even one word."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"It's not what you think."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

Shy Man at Party

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

'Now that's what I call a worthy cause.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

Massage Mushroom Cloud

Dr. Miska: Eye, Ear, Nose and Embarrassing Bodily Functions.

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

'Anyone can arrange a blind date, only truly great ones can arrange a whole relationship.'