Awkward Situation Connoisseurs Pillows

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"It's not what you think."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Shy Man at Party

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

'Now that's what I call a worthy cause.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'How's my Mother? Not too good - You're sitting on her!'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

"If one of your ears were inside-out, would you want someone to tell you?"

'The return of the Jehovah's Witnesses'

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

"You always show up at the WORST possible time!"

Dr. Miska: Eye, Ear, Nose and Embarrassing Bodily Functions.

"The interview was going great until she noticed on my c.v. that I was her ex husband."