Awkward Comedy Gifts

Lenny, the Fifth Wheel of the Apocalypse

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

The circus diver.

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

The sudden extinction of Neanderclowns

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

"It's perfect."

'Happy Valentine's Day!'

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

"Well, time to do what we came here to do...our homework."

Things you don't want to hear on a blind date.

"So, do you come nowhere often?"

Develop Your Social Skills: Try asking about something someone just said....

'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'

'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'

Cheese maker

'I really hate it when the boss gets all motivational, and when he wears a thong!'

"And this is where my late husband died of loneliness."

'Oh wow, Gary Player, shake my hand,'

'I think I preferred the old office parties.'

"Well, how convenient."

'Maybe we should start the meeting with a 'Getting to know each other' ice-breaker. Would anyone like to share their sexual fantasies?'

"And I'm pretty sure he's seeing another woman."

"Well, this is an awkward purr."

"Why are you wearing sunglasses at night?"