Awkward Humor Fan Gifts

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'How embarrassing. I talked to her for three hours before we realised it was a wrong number.'

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

Faster, Georges, faster!

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Pastry Hat

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Boomerang cow.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Franz Kafka

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

Beware of sissified, but tough dog!

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

Chick Billiard Ball

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

Prosthetic snake.

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

One afternoon on mars.

The Old Man and the Noodle.

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"He wants to know if you can move your seat up."