Award-winning Wit Gifts

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

Do you believe in money at first sight?

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

People want as much government as they deserve.

G.K. Chesterton.

Greece Idyll

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."

'Why do they have to be ivory knitting needles?'

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

"You're definitely going to need an extraction."

'Without a pay raise, it's impossible to attract good people to government -- why, just look at me!'

'I'm just going online...'

Warning Wisecracks or good-natured barbs alcohol maybe hazardous to your health,

'Never mind dear, at least you cut him with your razor sharp wit.'

'I think I've solved my drinking problem.'

"I don't care if all your friends like that. You go back and put on some more insulation, young lady!"

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."