Award Seasons Gifts

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Welcome Spring.

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

The Last Leaf

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Sunbathing in Autumn

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

Fall on a desert island

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Climate change

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."