Award Ceremony Comedians Pillows

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Occu-Pie Mars

They're Not Just That Into It

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'Very funny!'

Donald Glover

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

Woody Allen

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Football Delivery

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

"You're hired! We need someone like you to encourage humor in the workplace."

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

Leftie Trump

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."