Avian Cruise Director Gifts

Birdhouse Apartments

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized that we need a vacation.'

"This is your captain speaking."

'Geez, what's with the delay?'

'I can't get them to leave. They want to sign up for another cruise.'

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"He does impressions too!"

"I have a few questions, Miss Haspel, about your fitness to serve as the director of the C.I.A."

'Feeling a little sick, dear?'

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator. You're going to learn to fly on your own.

'Eisenhower had an affair - but it was during the years of 'don't ask, don't tell.''

"Why Bingo Sinclair is the world's greatest clown director"

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

Bon Voyage

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

'This is your captain speaking!'

'We're running low on food, everyone. I think we should cut out the 'All-you-can-eat' buffets.'

"So, what did you used to do?"

New York Sightseeing Cruises

' Me....here?...Well...er...I remember getting on a Club 18-30 Booze Cruise!'

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

The Very First White Wine on Ice

'An authentic Viking experience, you said. The cruise of a lifetime, you said. It'll be awesome, you said.'

'What on earth are you doing? Watch your flaps! Increase altitude ... ' Back Seat Pilots: another reason to make cockpits inaccessible to passengers.

Man and boy looking at a birdhouse they have just built. It has a vacancy sign outside it like a motel.