Avant-garde Stylist Gifts

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Jazz is Invented

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

Blend Schools

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 8)

James Joyce

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

Ave Atque Vale- Illustrates Beardsley's Translation of Carmen CI of Catullus

A retriever comes back to a hunter with Brancusi's 'Bird in Space'."

Tracey Emin

"Once upon a time there were these three little pigs. There was a neurotic little pig, a psychotic little pig, and a normal little pig . . . ."

Toilet Art.

The Death of Pierrot

"Stop complaining, granite is in."

Fashion Publishing: In tray - Outre.

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes III (aka Dancer with the Domino)

Igor Stravinsky