Avant-garde Music Gifts

Jazz is Invented

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

The Cremaster Cycle

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

Blend Schools

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

James Joyce

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 8)

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

Ave Atque Vale- Illustrates Beardsley's Translation of Carmen CI of Catullus

A retriever comes back to a hunter with Brancusi's 'Bird in Space'."

Tracey Emin

The Death of Pierrot

Toilet Art.

"Once upon a time there were these three little pigs. There was a neurotic little pig, a psychotic little pig, and a normal little pig . . . ."