Avant-garde Fan Gifts

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

James Joyce

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Jazz is Invented

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Yoko Ono

The Cremaster Cycle

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

Bot Art: After Mary Cassatt

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

Samuel Beckett

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 8)

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"No sitting on the art, ma'am."

Francis Picabia

Samuel Beckett

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

Ave Atque Vale- Illustrates Beardsley's Translation of Carmen CI of Catullus

A retriever comes back to a hunter with Brancusi's 'Bird in Space'."

Tracey Emin

Toilet Art.

The Death of Pierrot

"Once upon a time there were these three little pigs. There was a neurotic little pig, a psychotic little pig, and a normal little pig . . . ."

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'