Avant-garde Aficionados Gifts

"First it was a real one. Then artificial. Now it's completely conceptual."

The Artist

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Jazz is Invented

'Projectile painting.'

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

The Cremaster Cycle

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

They were long past their canine pasts, but the rare stamp brought out the beast in them.

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 8)

"Here we have an all natural rock – before being artistically processed and stripped of its natural richness."

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'