Avant-garde Art Fan Gifts

"Frank Lloyd Wrong"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Pharaoh Cocoon

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

The Cremaster Cycle

Troys'R'Us.

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

Bot Art: After Mary Cassatt

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Monet in the '90s.

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 8)

James Joyce

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

Ave Atque Vale- Illustrates Beardsley's Translation of Carmen CI of Catullus

A retriever comes back to a hunter with Brancusi's 'Bird in Space'."

"Once upon a time there were these three little pigs. There was a neurotic little pig, a psychotic little pig, and a normal little pig . . . ."

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

The Death of Pierrot