Avant-garde Gifts

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Design for the Prospectus of The Savoy I- Censored

Two men compete over who is least recognised

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

Interesting, but not quite Lady Gaga.

Art gallery - way out / not so way out.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Jazz is Invented

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

"Outré or simply bad?"

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

Blend Schools

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 8)

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

James Joyce

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

Ave Atque Vale- Illustrates Beardsley's Translation of Carmen CI of Catullus

A retriever comes back to a hunter with Brancusi's 'Bird in Space'."

"Once upon a time there were these three little pigs. There was a neurotic little pig, a psychotic little pig, and a normal little pig . . . ."

Tracey Emin

Toilet Art.

The Death of Pierrot

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'