Avant-garde Decorator Gifts

"Stop complaining, granite is in."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Filet minion

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Yoko Ono

Pinata Trophies

"Can that be right?"

The Hammer

Yard Sale

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

Pollock Painting Company

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

Dare to be different.

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Jackson Pollock the Spider

"I'll bet there's a story there."

If you can read this, you're standing too close.