Vintage Decorator Gifts

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Face Painting.

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Two portraits kissing each other

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Tedious Romantic.

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'