Autograph Athlete Gifts

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Sign my yearbook?"

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Yearbook

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

Bullseye!

Monica Seles

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Saving a Heart

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'