Auto Surgeon Gifts

'Well,here's the answer to why your car has been running so rough in the mornings Mr.Tait...It's pregnant!'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Take me to your mechanic."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

CLEAR!

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Rust test in progress.

Car Dentistry.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

''Meaning of Life' is the next mountain over. I teach auto mechanics.'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

Last Chance for Everything.

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.