Auction Fanatic Gifts

Antiques Roadshow or Bust!

"I've finally found my calling..."

"Oh look. Thornton - is that one of those wing-and-a-prayer chairs?"

"Sold to the man with the itchy ear."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Invisible clothes

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

I e-bay t-shirt.

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Last Chance for Everything.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

"I am in training for the sales."

'It sold for how much!'

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

'Shove' (at big sale).

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Maybe that will teach you not to buy a manure spreader without seeing it first.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

'Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back on eBay.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

Paddlithic Period