Auction Aficionado Gifts

At home with Harry, the Auctioneer. 'A penny for your thoughts.' 'Who'll give me five - do I hear five?'

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"Mom, Dad's been on eBay again!"

'Enough EBAY already!'

"The bidding will begin at twenty million dollars."

On some of the paintings my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments.

Auction 'Lot's wife'

'Next, lot 234; an extremely rare estate agents

Homeowners.

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"Go. Do my bidding."

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

'...Next place goes to the lady for 200 euros!'

"Do I hear eighty-five?"

'It sold for how much!'

Auction Rooms 'Gone to lunch' sign.

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Any advance on eighteen months?...Do I hear two y...oh, sorry/ I forgot where I was for a moment.'

"Who will open the bid at $500?"

Auction parking: Winners/Losers

Auction Rooms - Going...Going...Gone to Lunch

"Yes, I know it's a nice necklace. But, I can't make a phone bid for you, This is a repeat!"

"Shall we start the bidding at five dollars?"

"Did you leave feedback. . . ?"

"I got sleepy at the auction and stretched my arms."

"You will do my bidding...there are several online cape auctions I want to win."

'Sold to the man in the blue suit, with the red 'S' on his chest and a red cape...'

"You’ve been outbid for the vintage catnip — what do you want me to do?"

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"Lot 212. A pair of Lord Archer's pants..."